Humours

How do you know that?
Bob: My car doesn't have a speedmeter.
Rob: Then how do you know how fast you're going?
Bob: Well, when I'm driving at 15 miles an hour, the fenders rattle; at 25 miles an hour, the windows rattle; and at 30, the motor starts knocking-and that's as fast as it'll go.

Time Is Money
As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?"
"Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.
"Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter.
"Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.

Key to One's Success
One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you promise somebody a promise, you must carry it out no matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's word.'

"What is cleverness? asked his son.

"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.

Be responsible
Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.